concouring the elegantless

i added a new element to the blog today: a playlist of some of the music that has influenced me over the years.

some may find “bobby brown” by frank zappa offensive. but, you need to keep in mind that frank wasn’t singing about his own sexual experiences; this is supposed to be a parody of… well… i don’t know whom. the important things to remember are: frank didn’t care if he offended anyone and i think the song is funny. listen with an open mind and you too may feel the same.

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finally had a chance to hook-up with my old friend gary peterson today. we never could come up with a year that we last saw each other; mid-70s was as close as we could get.

i’m very happy to see that gary has done quite well for himself. way to go, dude!

he drove his ferrari 355 berlinetta (forgot to ask what year) and shipped his lamborghini (not sure if he said what model) up from san diego.

he still looks like the gary i used to know, except (like myself), 35 years older!

for a while i wasn’t sure if we were ever going to be able to get together: if he was free i was busy and if i was free he was busy.

i ran around the polo grounds and golf course yesterday, but never made it out today for concours. i woke up with a headache, tried to get inspired with a couple of triple-lattes and went back to bed for a couple of hours. by the time i got up, i only had time to visit with gary.

oh well! it wasn’t like missing a king crimson concert and i did get a chance to hang with gary for a while and that, in itself, was more important than the cars!

i did get to see a couple of cool cars yesterday.

finally had a chance to see a ford gt up close. also got to see a new mustang concept car.

don’t know if ford’s gonna do anything with any of the concepts, but it looked pretty spiff. i did see an old flathead powered (champ?) car. too big to be a sprinter and not big enough for indy. i saw some people pushing it onto the grounds the other day and could tell from the exhaust that it was a flathead and not an offy since it had pipes on both sides of the boat tail. i haven’t had the pics developed (we’re still using the antiquated film-method-of-photography around here) so i don’t know what shots came out and what didn’t. i tried to get shots of some bronze pieces that were on display: the goldenrod and a few other bonneville/lakes-type vehicles. also took a pic of a piece (not sure of the medium) that was a highboy being pushed out of a 1940s style pit by three guys with a leather helmet-clad driver; the base looked like the surface of el mirage.

speaking of taking pictures: it was so difficult to get a picture of the cars without somebody (usually some synthetic-beauty – which means she was far from beautiful) trying to get in the shot. every time i would frame the shot, somebody would slip in and pose. i guess it was the “media badge” around my neck. since i was shooting on film i didn’t want to waste the shot, so i’d lower the camera, walk around the car, wait for the would-be-model to move, re-frame the shot and she’d be back in the picture. this happened several times.

my patience with pretension was shot by the time i got out of that place.

i overheard a woman ask (i presume) her husband how much a car was worth. he told her: “about 3, or 4-hundred thousand!” without sarcasm, she replied: “oh, is that all?” she was quite serious. like ron would say: “not good enough! you got that?” i’m surprised she didn’t gag onto the asphalt, like she was just told she was eating goat, from having to stand so close to such a classless car. it was a bentley of some sort.

ron’s event last night was, i would have to say, a smashing success! the place was packed and everyone seemed to have a great time. i hope waj gets some new members out of it!

i made some new friends last night, too: maneesh reddy, a very friendly man who sat at our table, and david ray who drives for nissan, who sat next to me. david was driving the pace car this weekend for the monterey historics. i announced that “the cool people” were sitting at our table.

my new friend, jane, came as my guest and looked quite resplendent. she was gracious enough to stick around to give me a ride back to the beach house after i tore-down the paparazzi-backdrop, the projector and the dvd player.

i’d have to say that the meal was the best banquet meal i’ve ever had. i ate filet mignon, medium-rare. it was so tender i wish i had ordered it rare, but didn’t want to take a chance since they were serving about 50 of us. they also served a chicken dish of-some-sort, mushroom ravioli and the most un-edible item the world has ever known: salmon!

a couple of years ago, teri’s mom asked, while we were visiting her up at tahoe, if we’d like to stay for dinner. “we’re having salmon!” she proudly announced. i told her i couldn’t stay but she said they’d throw a steak on the barbecue for me. unfortunately for me, the steak was grilled right next to the salmon. so, i had salmon-flavored steak. i gagged-down a few bites and couldn’t force anymore passed my teeth. we hit burger king (only slightly better than salmon) on the way home; insuring that, not only did i taste salmon for the next 4-hours, but i had heartburn from the burger.

the greatest fear i have is that i’ll be stranded in the wilderness with only salmon to eat!

mm-mmm!

clearing up and catching up

my posts regarding certain members of the board of directors of gbes caused quite a stir!

as a result, it also drew out the comments of biggeekjimbeau and his girlfriend, blocko1000, in the guise of other “real” geocachers. i have, therefore, deleted their erroneous comments and my original posts from this blog. i have made my point with those i intended the point be made, so there is no reason to drag it on any further. as far as bgj and b1k: i guess stealing my fst caches wasn’t enough for them! they are children in overgrown bodies and will always be children! so, i’m sorry to say, the reno caching community can expect childish games from them from time to time.

it’s been a busy week around the melrose media center! it’s car week on the monterey peninsula, with the focal point being concours d’elegance here in pebble beach.

my old friend gary peterson is in town for the festivities. i spoke to him yesterday. i hope i get to hook up with him before the weekend ends’ it’s been over 30 years since i last saw gary.

we ran into jay leno yesterday in carmel for the end of the concours tour. not sure what he was driving as we were in a hurry to get to il fornaio for lunch and a meeting with the special events director. we’re staging an event there tomorrow evening.

sometime during the craziness of yesterday, i lost my glasses. i had to use my sunglass through the night, which are quite dark.

fortunately, i was able to get a new pair today. i’ve been intending on buying new glasses anyway as my prescription was a couple of years out-dated. but, i really didn’t want to get them in a panic. but, i love it that i can see things up close again. the correction brings me back to 20/15 vision. not the 20/10 i used to have back in the 1970s and ‘80s. but, it’ll do. i have no idea what the style is called. ron calls them buddy holly glasses. the frames are not that broad, but i can see a resemblance. my new wayfarer sunglasses won’t be ready for another week or so. they’re the first the lenscrafter in monterey has sold; they just came in this morning and they don’t have all lenses in stock yet. looks like i’m gonna be the first on the block for this new style. like it really matters to me.

before visiting the optician, ron and i ran down to the lodge at pebble beach to get our media passes for concours d’elegance. but, i had no chance to use mine today between getting new glasses and errands.

today, alone, i did see while running around the peninsula, no exaggeration: at least 40 lamborghinis; 80 ferraris of various models; 200 porsches (yawn) and two of the 1.3 million dollar bugatti veyrons. what a beauty that thing is. well, for $1,300,000, plus tax, license and dealer preparation charges it should be. the bugatti veyron 16.4 is the fastest, most powerful, and most expensive street-legal full production car in the world. the w-16 engine is a sixteen cylinder piston engine in a w configuration with four banks of four cylinders (two juxtaposed v8 engine blocks), coupled to a single crankshaft displacing 8 liters (480 cubic inches, for those who still think in cid – like me), sporting 4 turbochargers and 9 radiators driving a 7-speed transmission putting out 1001 horsepower and an actual top speed of 252 mph. it’s built by volkswagen ag subsidiary bugatti automobiles in france and is sold under the italian/french bugatti marque. it’s named after french racing driver pierre veyron, who won the 24 hours of le mans in 1939 while racing for the original bugatti firm.

the car we are evaluating this week is a 2008 acura mdx turbocharged suv. compared to the veyron, it only puts out a paltry 300 horsepower. but, when that boost kicks in you’d better be hanging on.

took a short drive down to the ocean early this evening. the waves were the highest i have yet to see. i really can’t wait for the winter storms.

wait! what the hell am i saying? it’s not yet summer here.

well, maybe.

today could have been the first day of summer. don’t know what the high was here in pebble beach. but, it was the first day that i actually ran the a/c while out here. i’ve had to use it in seaside and marina and our trip to sfo last weekend. but, pebble is like a rainforest that doesn’t seem to heat-up, according to the locals, until september and october.

i got an email from my friend willy (of the infamous “adventures of monty & willy). glad to see that he’s back in action! he’s living back in prescott, az with his daughter dawn. i guess shelly, perhaps the worst person in the world, besides other things, bagged his computer, digi cam and leather furniture.

hey shelly: “can you say karma? there’s not enough medication in the world to keep you safe from karma because of what you have done! i suggest overdosing now to get it over with!”

and bea thought i could only be vicious about her.

i put up some new pics on my picasa page. i hope to have the chance to get some more car shots tomorrow.

np: the california guitar trio/an internet broadcast of their performance at nearfest back in (2003?) featuring tony levin (of king crimson) on chapman stick and basses. willy and i got to see them, sans tony, in may 2006 in carson city.

that’s me in the 4^th row on the right leaning around the guy in the black t-shirt and willy behind the woman with her hands in the air (from hideyo’s roadcam). what a treat that was to see these fine musicians in cartoon city. if you hear of them coming to a city near, or far from you go, at all costs. there are few musicians who play on this level and in intimate settings such as comma coffee, which is located across the street from the nevada state assembly building and my “fighting clowns” cache. learn more about burt, paul and hideyo at http://www.cgtrio.com

turst me on this!

they are on tour now. actually, i think they are always on tour!

tales to tell: the infamous goiter incident #1

in august, 1999 i ran up to winnemucca, nevada to help my girlfriend, joann, and the company she worked for, roadshows, with the first event i would work for the special event organizer.

this particular event was at the model t inn. coincidentally, i would eventually come to work for radio station kptl, which was owned by the casino group, holder hospitality group, which owned the model t.

on this weekend, roadshows was setting up in the casino’s parking lot for an oldies concert featuring “lil’ elmo and the cosmos.”

not yet known by roadshows for my ability to work on-stage, i was working on the stage; building backdrops, taping cables, hanging lights and stacking speakers.

the heat in northern nevada in august can sometimes be quite oppressive and this day was no exception. but the setup went fairly well. it didn’t take all that long to get the stage ready for the sound crew, which arrived just about the time we were ready for them.

this is when the problems became apparent: there was only one power source!

well, after several hours of blowing circuits in the middle of the band’s performances and dragging miles of extension cords from every corner of the casino, joann and i were finally able to make it into the coffee shop for dinner at around 2300 hours (11pm).

i had pork chops and eggs and i have no idea what joann had.

before too long, i started to feel a tugging in my right cheek: much like having a sweetart tucked between my cheek and gum.

well, since i was eating pork chops and eggs, i didn’t think this was right and put my hand to my jaw. my neck was distended way beyond my jaw.

nervously, i said to joann: “what’s wrong with my neck?”

“oh my god!” she replied. “what’s wrong with your neck?”

well, i did my best to ignore it by continuing to eat. but, it only got bigger.

i also began to get a queasy feeling and a little light-headed – even for me!

after a few more bites and not being successful at ignoring the growing growth on the side of my face (i was sure i was having an aneurysm) i told joann i thought she should take me back to the room.

she got up and said she was going to pay the bill and would be right back to help me.

well, as i sat there, continuing to think i was about to die from an aneurysm, i decided i’d better start walking back to the room. since i was certainly going to be moving at a very slow rate of speed, joann would have no trouble catching up with me to open the door for me.

i didn’t get that far.

i didn’t even get outside the coffee shop before i fell to the floor, my head hitting the tile like, according to joann and the hostess, a watermelon hitting the ground.

i had no idea i was going down until i saw the two of them over me.

at this point i was sure i was going to die.

the strange thing: i was ok with it. except for the fact that i was going to die on the floor of a casino coffee shop, i was just fine with departing this world.

i felt wonderful; never better.

i was sure i was going to die and i was happy to know that the dying part, not the cause of death but death itself, was as beautiful is i’d hoped it would be. i’d never felt so euphoric in my life.

the manager called the ambulance and, before too long, they came and carted me away to the hospital.

by this time my euphoria had subsided, but not the bulge on my neck or my concern over what it was.

when they took me into the emergency room i was greeted by a doctor who gave me a cursory exam and said: “i don’t want you to worry about what i’m about to tell you. . .”

that certainly calmed me down. about like being told by an airline pilot: “ah, this is your captains speaking. now, ah, look, ah, i don’t want any of you to panic. but, ah, they forgot to fuel the, ah, aircraft and, ah, well, we’ve, ah, got to ditch!”

the doctor continues: “. . . but, i think you have a tumor!”

oh, great!

“i don’t see a need in admitting you. but, i suggest you see your doctor back in fallon as soon as you get home!”

now, still not all that stable on my feet, and almost wishing i had died on the floor of a casino coffee shop instead of dying over a long period of time from the tumor, joann walked me out to the car and drove me back to the model-t.

needless to say, it was quite a while before i drifted off to a restless sleep.

the next morning, i awoke without the lump and starved since i had only been successful at eating a small portion of my pork chops and eggs before hitting the floor.

so, we went straight to the coffee shop for breakfast.

two bites into the meal and my neck began to bulge again.

oh-oh. i was ready to lie down on the floor so my head didn’t hit it like a watermelon again.

then, it went down almost immediately. no bulge, no euphoria, no light-headedness.

i was fine the rest of the day and the next time i ate there was no accompanying bulge.

doctor tim was able to get me in on monday afternoon so i didn’t have too long to freak about dying on somebody else’s floor.

i explained the incident and the symptoms and told him what the winnemucca doctor told me.

“well, first of all,” he began. “you don’t have a tumor!”

which wasn’t much of a relief as i still had no clue what i was going to die from.

“what you had was a stone in your parotid gland!”

he continuted: “saliva, like urine or any other body fluid, contains minerals. what you had was a stone much like a gallstone or kidney stone. only this one was in a duct leading from your salivary gland to your mouth.”

he explained that, as we masticate, we create saliva in much greater volume that we’re aware of. and the stone was blocking the saliva from leaving my gland. but, as i continued to chew, i just kept creating more of the fluid with no place for it to go.

he told me that it may have been there for weeks and it hadn’t dislodged until that night.

eating breakfast on sunday morning was enough to purge the gland as i passed it into my mouth and swallowed it along with my omelet and saliva.

“yeah, but why did i pass out?” i asked.

“you didn’t pass out.” dr. tim said with a wry smile. “you fainted!”

“no!” i said defiantly. “you don’t understand. i’ve picked up pieces of fiends off of race tracks; i’ve seen dead bodies; i don’t faint!”

he went on to re-describe the symptoms i had as i sat in the booth trying to ignore the growing bulge in my neck, and subsequently collapsing onto the floor of the casino coffee shop.

all, according to dr. tim, classic symptoms of fainting.

“but, why would i have fainted?” i timidly asked, now not sure if i was as sturdy as i thought i’d been all these year.

“you thought you were suffering from an aneurysm and was sure you were going to die.” he said continuing to smile. “your imagination (i barely have one, you know!) took over and you thought you were going to die in a casino coffee shop!”

he told me that since it happened once it may happen again.

it has not!

so, it became another episode in my life that has become a tale to tell.

it became “the infamous goiter incident” only after i first met ron in 2003 and told him the story before heading up to winnemucca and the model-t for a (very) remote broadcast.

it is ron who gave it the title.

which, has recently become known as “the infamous goiter incident #1” because of something that has recently occurred.

but, that’s another tale to tell.

95% and rising

just returned from my first date in i don’t know how long.

it went very well, i thought. i think jane feels the same.

we both ordered spicy chinese, water – no ice, ate with chopsticks; several other coincidences ensued throughout the evening.

i don’t know how we were able to eat as the conversation never lagged.

i had a very enjoyable evening!

today was ron’s birthday.

happy birthday ron!

ran him over to carmel so he could have dinner with susie.

while we waited for her to get off work we roamed around the carmel plaza, listening to live jazz and i sipped a cappuccino.

the band was ok. the guitarist had his moments! some of his licks were really hot. but, at other times he played clumsily, certainly much better than i could play! i doubt anybody else there, except maybe any musicians in the crowd, perceived that. the bass player was the real standout in my opinion. the keyboard player was adequate but nothing that really flashed-out at me. the drummer was very tasty; his sticks were so huge cozy powell would have been comfortable with them; they were practically the size of tree limbs.

i told ron and susie that i was not sure of how to get back to pb. they suggested i just get on rt. 1 and head north. but, i felt like i could remember the way back. or, at least close enough to get me to the carmel 17-mile drive gate.

after a few minutes i got a call and it was susie asking me if i was lost. i told her no. she replied that i was going the wrong way. they were a couple of cars behind me. retracing our ingress, i turned at il fornaio. susie then told me i took another wrong turn. but, all the roads looked familiar. in less then a minute, we met at an intersection and both heading toward the 17-mile drive gate. i guess i am getting to know this area after all.

picked up my new sport coat from the tailor this afternoon. that thing fits me like it’s an outer layer of skin! for $125, it had better! pari is quite a seamstress! it felt nice walking around all the beautiful people, and at dinner with jane, with custom threads. i caught several heads turning as i walked passed them amidst the jazz, wine and cheeses. i only wish they had been women’s heads and not men’s. i don’t think they were gay. maybe just envious of my silver hair. “don’t dye your hair and yours might look as good!”

whatever!

speaking of seamstresses: i got a text message from kathy today. she was driving through wisconsin with john on their way to st. paul, minn. i’ve been thinking a lot about her this passed week. partly inspired by the fallen bridge in minnesotta; we drove over that bridge together about 15 months ago. i have also been thinking a lot about the haiku i wrote for her. it’s in my other computer back in fallon. i need to get that out of there and file it online. it is one of my favorite short-pieces.

i guess i’m finally over whatever it was that was ailing me this week. no idea what that was about; i had a headache that was not my “regular” tmj headache. no, i don’t think it was a stroke; the headache started gradually on tuesday; faded away to a faint pain that night, only to return to full-gale-force on wednesday. i was nauseous for most of the time and my bones were very achy; i spent most of wednesday asleep. i was about 85% on thursday and 95% today.

ron just returned to inform me that we have to take lulu, the forehead and devil-child to the airport so devil child can go back home to north carolina; so much for sleeping-in.

bearding a woman for travel and fun

i just returned from a walk down to the beach to miss the sunset; my gps said the sunset was 8:11 pm, which was the time i arrived at the beach. i’ll have to look into that a little better.

the walk was pleasant, however.

on the way down i encountered a raccoon peeking its head out of the culvert. cute little sucker! no doubt one of the culprits that vandalizes our trash on a nightly basis. i talked to it as i passed by so as not to anger it into attacking me. ron tells me they attack dogs all the time and have attacked humans on occasion. why did they always look so cute and adorable on walt disney’s wonderful world of color?

also watched a harrier hunting for small rodents in the rough around the golf course. if you’ve ever wondered how the harrier jump-jet got its name you won’t after seeing one of these raptors hover over its prey. they are amazing flyers!

also encountered a few long-eared bats as they patrolled the twilight sky looking for a meal.

i do not feel threatened by bats and enjoy watching them snatch up insects on the wing.

i’d put up a bat house, but ron doesn’t like them, despite them eating their weight in insects every night.

hung out at the monterey peninsula country club’s 11^th tee for a while on the walk back to the pad. if i could swing a golf club (my shoulders won’t permit it), this would be my favorite tee. the above picture is taken from the farthest tee (i’m sure there is a correct name for being the farthest tee from the green), looking across the street to the easier tees and toward the green. if you look closely at the image you will see the 17-mile drive snaking between the cypress trees to the right. as it goes out of sight there is a turnout. this is where we hold our morning meetings. i drive between the two upper tees and the two lower tees every day and live a brief 3-minute walk from here.

had a real day off today. well, we did have a few errands to run, but they were non-laborious and included a “pretty woman” trip for a couple of dress shirts and slacks and a pair of giorgio brutini shoes.

also had the bmw washed. what a beautiful car!

speaking of beautiful cars: the sun came out today and so did the cool cars. we must have seen 8 ferraris this afternoon.

we also ran up to moss landing to get invitations for the western automotive journalists cocktail party during councours d’eligance from “the pose’s” boat; a 45 foot sailing vessel-of-some-sort. the pose is a certified marine captain, uniform and all. our schedules keep conflicting, but now that we are wrapped up with painting, i assume it won’t be long before we’re out on monterey bay with the great white sharks.

while we were at moss landing, to keep up our quasi-gay couple image, we stopped by a very cool antiques shop. i could have spent a few thousand bucks there in about 3-minutes!

on the way back to the peninsula, we stopped to pay tribute marilyn monroe at a produce mart in castroville, where in 1947 the young norma jean mortenson was crowned the very first “artichoke queen” in the self-proclaimed “artichoke capitol of the world!”

i bought no artichokes as they are more expensive here than they were back in carson city. and all of them were beyond fresh.

it was in castroville that ron came up with the idea that we need to travel with a woman (preferably a marilyn look-a-like) to act as a “beard” when we are on our escapades so we are not perceived as a gay couple. which, in my opinion, would just make us look even more gay.

while ron was out this early this evening with susie, i finally found my first two caches since becoming a peninsula resident. i’ve been feeling guilty for not offing the travel bugs i’ve had in my bag for the past month, or so.

one was hidden (not so well) under an oak tree surrounded by poison oak (in nevada the only thing i had to worry about was the occasional rattlesnake) and the other was right off of cannery row in the midst of all the tourists. the latter requiring me to tie my shoe a couple of times to retrieve and re-hide the cache.

now, i feel like a california cacher!

1/2 dozen oysters and nothing to celebrate!

i paid another visit to dr. homy this week – spent almost 2 hours in the chair! my mouth is still a little tender.

now, i have to get used to smiling again with an opened-mouth and not covering it up with my hand.

i still have to wonder: what happened to that tooth cap, anyway?

i do not know if i will ever be able to eat vietnamese food again just from the association of what i was doing when it left my mouth.

i never realized those things have a life expectancy of 30-years.

i guess that means the new work is good until i’m in my 80s.

we wrestled some more today with the dragon; we only have a few doors and holidays left to paint and we’re done.

but, before we could thrust the blade into the beast, it reared it’s ugly head: the swivel joint on the spray gun exploded and shot paint all over the room and up my armpit.

but, ron’s story of buying the last of the paint changed my mood.

the woman the paint-genius was helping at home depot (have you ever noticed that there is no customer service department at home depot? there’s a reason for that! lowe’s is just as bad!) secure the lid of the magenta paint he was mixing and sent the pigmented liquid flying all over the paint department.

then the woman asked if she could buy just half a can.

that would have been worth having to come into the store!

i barbecued t-bones last night up at the dollhouse for susie, ron and myself, replete with sautéed mushrooms and maui onions. not as good as the 1 ½” steaks we bought a couple of weeks ago at costco (who knew the meat was so good there?), but they were still pretty tasty!

on our way back to the beach house, driving the new lincoln mkx crossdresser (almost-suv) that we are evaluating this week we noticed that the stars were shining through the moonroof, and took the long way home, via the 17-mile drive. by the time we reached the bottom of huckleberry hill, however, the fog was too thick to see much more than a few feet above the car. we could barely see the turnout to our morning meeting location as we drove by.

# # # # #

ron and i just returned from cannery row, where we had drinks and oysters at some loud, trendy restaurant/martini bar. being the unfashionable-guy i am: i had jack daniels, neat.

hanging out at the bar while we waited for our table was kind of interesting: ron gave the bartender a 50% tip and the two little-hotties we were standing behind immediately became interested in us and offered us seats.

money talks!

they were without working brain cells so i quickly lost interest. the cleavage was nice, however.

we didn’t stay long as the table we were sat at was next to the window, which meant that every cigarette-smoker within a mile was perched just on the other side of said window. despite it being closed, the smoke wafted in like it was the incoming tide. we quickly sucked down the oysters, had them box-up the quesadilla and split.

i wonder if john steinbeck ever envisioned cannery row to be what it has become?

the sun's hello

the sun appeared today, albeit briefly!

that's first time in over a week that the sun has burned through the fog in pebble beach.

i hope this is a sign of things to come!

i made my presence known to the local geocaching group, ccgc, and i've received several very warm emails welcoming me to the coast. they have made up for the lack of sunshine.

ron and i had a dinner meeting a couple of weeks ago with a very talented italian artist by the name of marietta, in addition to santa cruz bill and another of his friends. her work is very picasoesque and some of it is pretty erotic!

it seems i sent her an email to the wrong address. or, at least, not to the right address.

she replied today.

i'm a sucker for italian women!

artistic italian women: whew!

glad i got my smile fixed!

gonna try to talk ron into cruising by santa cruz on our way back from shopping for a truck for the loganator; she's exposing (her words, not mine) her work at a festival this weekend.

she is quite beautiful.

the measuring begins.

tales to tell: the court street apartment

around 1987 i moved into an old building on court street in auburn, maine, which used to house the radio station wcou, which happened to be the former call letters of the radio station i was currently working for: wxgl.

to bring the radio thing full circle, the building was owned by the sports announcer (george somebodyorantother) for wlam/kiss 100, another radio station i used to work for.

when i first moved in, the building was empty.

the first floor – all retail/business space – was unoccupied, as well as the other 2 floors, which were apartments.

my apartment was on the top floor in the rear of the building and had no view. at the time, isolation suited me just fine.

it was a strange little pad!

since the business spaces on the first floor were deserted, the front door was always locked. and there was no doorbell.

the only way i could receive guest, or anything else for that matter, was for them to come up the rickety, unlighted staircase on the rear of the building. as i remember: you also had to bushwhack through the neighbor’s yard to get to the stairs.

at some point in my residency wxgl hired a night dj from virginia by the name of bob wells.

well, since he needed a place to live, i contacted george somebodyorantother on bob’s behalf and george rented the front, 3^rd floor to bob.

bob had a view of the bank and maybe some of the park near the (middle) bridge that connects auburn with lewiston.

a peculiarity of maine apartments is: they sometimes have windows that led to hallways. i guess it was a way to air out the place on those humid maine summers.

instead of the apartments being mirrored images of each other, bob’s bathroom was right on the other side of the wall from by bedroom. so, whenever bob took a shower, i could hear the water beating against the wall behind my bed.

would bob vila have approved of such a design?

at this point in my radio career i had graduated beyond working 6 days a week to working just monday through friday with remotes (spelled “talent pay”) on the weekends.

bob had not reached that lofty position and was, besides his 6 to midnight shift, working sunday mornings from 6 to noon.

on sunday morning, as per usual, i could hear bob in the shower somewhere around 0515 hours before leaving for work and drifted back to sleep.

after a period of time, i awoke once again to the sound of bob leaving his apartment and passing under the window that led to the hallway as he walked/stumbled (bob was anything but graceful) down the stairs.

eventually, i drifted back to sleep.

until, i was awakened by the sound of water running in bob’s apartment. since the shower was right behind my bed i could, not only hear him in the shower, but also hear whenever he was using water.

i listened for a moment to determine if i was hearing things.

i was!

not only did i hear water running, i also heard footsteps in the apartment.

“somebody’s in the building!” i thought.

i sat up on the side of the bed, reached out to the wall switch next to the bed to turn on the bathroom light and the light didn’t come on.

this added a little bit to the panic i was already feeling over the intruder/s in bob’s place.

i stood up, walked to the center of the room, grabbed the cord for the ceiling light and it didn’t come on either.

i reached for my pants and i awoke still in my bed.

it was a just a dream.

but, as i began to relax so i could fall back to sleep, i noticed that the water was running in bob’s apartment and there was somebody walking around in there.

i sat up, reached out to the bathroom light switch and it failed to glow.

deja vu all over again!

i stood up, walked to the center of the room, grabbed the string falling from the switch on the ceiling light and it too failed to burn.

now i was really in a panic!

i opened my bedroom door to let in a little light, since the only window in the bedroom led to the hallway, so i could get dressed; there was no way i was going to hang around while i’m having a de javu of a robbery.

i grabbed up a pair of jeans, shirt, socks, and my ll bean hunting boots and headed for the couch to get dressed.

my daughter, nicole, had spent friday night with me and some of here bedding was still on the couch, draped over the arm, and hanging onto the floor.

after pulling up my pants, i sat down next to her pillow and began to slip on a boot when i looked down and noticed that the blanket was moving around, like a cat was underneath it, trying to get out.

instead of slipping on the boot, i swung it onto the moving mass and i awoke, once again in my bed.

i instantly sat up, flipped on the bathroom light switch and the light came on.

i stood up, walked to the center of the room, tugged on the string for the ceiling light and, it too, came on!

just to make sure i wasn’t still dreaming, i walked into the living room to see if nicole’s blanket was still writhing on the floor.

it wasn’t even there!

bob’s apartment was quiet as can be: no water; no footsteps.

well, by this time i was wide-awake and i don’t think i could have gone back to sleep if i had been sedated.

let’s recap:

i was dreaming that i was dreaming!

i grabbed my clothing, put on my ll bean hunting boots and walked up to mac’s variety for breakfast.

internet mayhem and kitchen magic

this was a fairly non-productive day!

was up late last night working on ron’s computer, so i slept in until almost 8.

ran around to get chairs and a table for lulu’s (not-so) sweet sixteen, hung a painting at the dollhouse and paid a visit to the tailor to get my jacket personalized to my torso; gotta look cool at the mansion, you know?

also moved the heaviest tv in the world: some kind of sony high definition trinitron. which must mean “heavy as a 428 short block” in japanese.

spent most of the afternoon on the phone with aol tech support.

disclaimer: i am not an a-o-hell subscriber!

i’m trying to wean ron off of it; not an easy job!

we get dsl from telco. so, we don’t have to use aol (and i do not).

so, i have not had and problems.

in fact: i’ve been flying through cyberspace while ron has been trying to just pick up his mail.

isn’t aol’s slogan something like: the internet made easy?

who the hell says?

aol reminds me of the democratic party: tell the lie enough and eventually people believe it!

it also reminds me of the republican party: no balls and not willing to follow-through with something that people really want.

i’m not falling for it!

i can’t even tell what i’m supposed to do when i’m on ron’s aol browser; the damn thing has more buttons than nasa’s mission control!

not that i can figure out what i’m supposed to do on ie; that browser is enough to make me want to leave the internet.

i think i’ve been using firefox for about 4 years now and haven’t looked back!

talk about simple: back button; forward button; recycle; stop; home; address bar!

before i got on the phone with the tech, ron told felicia that i was making fun of aol and was promoting firefox.

she told him firefox is old news.

i think what she meant was: firefox being better than aol is old news!

news flash!

just got a party report from the dollhouse: $500 in sushi and another $200 in other party fare have been consumed (along with other substances, i’m sure) and the cops have not yet been called.

the night is still early and "the mutant" and "forehead", two of lulu's friends, are still on the grounds!

following the report: i heard ron bragging on me to susie; i made a little magic in the kitchen tonight by using chicken breasts, pasta, provolone, a few things that i could find in the pantry and my imagination.

some of my favorite meals have been things i’ve just slammed together from nothing.

i remember making eggs the morning after a david bowie concert at a campground in massachusetts surrounded by a mostly geriatric group of campers who came to relax in the mineral baths.

i thought we had everything we were going to need for a groovy camp breakfast: eggs; potatoes baked in the campfire from the night before, ready to become homefries; butter; onions.

everything we needed!

everything but salt and pepper!

now, i’m not a slave to the saltshaker, but potatoes and eggs need a little dash. just a dash, mind you.

but, pepper is a must! fresh ground, preferably.

i looked and looked and couldn’t come up with anything to season meal.

all i could find was a few crumbs of cool ranch doritos left in the bottom of the bag.

hey, wait a minute!

salt?

seasonings?

why not?

i crumbled up what was left of the corn chips in the bottom of the bag, sautéed the potatoes in butter with the chip crumbs until the potatoes were ready the scrambled-in the eggs!

i know i am not the only person who remembers that as the best camp breakfast ever.

rabbit manor invitation

click on this image to read the invitation.

oh, and to see the bunnies a little better.

friends, a good ol' murder and teabagging it in the land of teabags

this is the 3^rd of 3 miserable days in a row.

on saturday we rearranged the garage at the beach house and built a compound for the shitsus at the dollhouse.

spent most of sunday in bed with one of my headaches.

spent this morning recovering from the previous day’s headache, took lulu to the doctor, supervised the electrician back at the dollhouse, then went shopping for lulu’s sweet sixteen birthday party, which is tomorrow.

i know today doesn’t sound like much. but, i worked through most of it with half of my brain tied behind my back and the other half trying to catch up with the tied-off part.

i also didn’t get to eat dinner until 11pm.

so much for me doing a little writing every night to get back into the habit of writing on a regular basis.

i thought this was supposed to start getting easier after we wrapped up the painting?

well, it has been an interesting week, nonetheless:

i got an email from my first “real” girlfriend: gwen. what a trip! it’s been well over 30 years since i’ve seen her. sounds like she’s had a pretty tough time off and on. it appears that she in a good and stable relationship. i’m happy for her.

got a call from alan yesterday! it’s always good to talk to big al! my sense of humor has always been important to me. and alan’s sense of humor was important in shaping mine. i hope it works out that ron and i can meet up with him and ricky when we’re in socal the week after next (have alan and ricky really been married 30 years?).

oh, did i forget about going down to socal?

ron and i are going down to beverly hills to spend an evening at the playboy mansion for the playboy concours d’eligance!

“oh, oh, oh rabbit manor. up in rabbit manor!”

i guess it’s just another symbol of how my life is changing.

so, while we’re down there, we’re supposed to go sailing out of newport. that will be my opportunity to hook up with alan.

on the way down: we’re going to stop off at david heavener’s movie ranch. ron tells me that they’re shooting that day and i’ll have a quick part in a horror moving they’re shooting. maybe i’ll get to be murdered. how cool with that be? we’ll have to see if that pans out since we’re going to be on the run from the moment we leave the peninsula till we return.

i will, however, get a chance to talk to david about my screenplay.

the latest edition of octane magazine arrived today.

there is a picture from the latest goodwood of the redhead, the blue flame, al teague’s streamliner, flatfire and one of the nebulous cars. it’s always nice to see the redhead in a magazine. especially when it’s a teabag rag from a teabag event in the land of teabags.

the fog was the thickest tonight that i have ever seen! far too dangerous for mutant 17-year-olds to be driving in.

i think it’s been over a week since the sun has appeared in pebble beach!

my tan is gone!

tales to tell: the crazy artist

one day, back when ron and i were working together at kptl in carson city, this crazy lady came into the radio station looking to paint or draw something for the radio station. i guess she thought we were television and not radio.

she was in tears before she ever left ron’s office. since my office was right outside of ron’s i was there for the whole scene and wishing i had a place where i could hide.

well, even though we knew she was a couple of enchiladas short of a #6 combo, we talked about how we could use this woman’s talent in order to help her out.

and talented she was.

she was as talented as she was crazy!

her portfolio was loaded with wonderful examples of her artwork, from oils to watercolors to charcoal.

she had a great oil of pope john paul ii that is, or was, hanging in the vatican, and a very realistic watercolor of the silver legacy casino in reno.

very talented!

extremely talented!

so, ron commissioned her to do renderings of the air staff.

knowing that tq, being the former mrs. nevada and all, would feel slighted if she didn’t get hers first, he had “the crazy artist” (everybody has a nickname in and around the “secret obelisk society” and that became janet’s) begin with her image.

about a week later she returned with the rendering of tq.

it was. . . well. . . it looked like tq. sort of! but, it did not hold up to her other examples.

so, needles to say, i was a little apprehensive about my turn.

she took a photo home that somebody else had recently shot of me on one day, came back a day later with her 35mm and shot a few more before heading back to her home.

the sad story is: her home was a van that she shared with a dog that we never saw.

about a week or two later: she showed up with a folder containing my portrait.

i didn’t even want to open it when she handed it to me; i didn’t know if i could look gracious under that kind for pressure; i just knew it was going to be. . . well. . . not great.

until, however, i actually saw the rendering!

i thought i was looking at myself in the mirror.

i mean that thing looks more like me than me!

my friend, jim fannin, says the image haunts him my eyes are so lifelike.

janet captured the real me: the smile in my eyes, the creases of my smile and around my eyes, my elvish ears, the part in my van dyke and all the little nuances that make me me.

i never hoped for it to be as good as it turned out!

let me remind you: she was living in her van and that is where she created my rendering in charcoal and pencil.

truly amazing!

every time i look at that thing i am blown away with it.

shortly after, she had to leave town (i assume in her van) and we never saw her again.

scott (of the famous “scott and monty show”) and jarvis never got their turns for immortality and the other artwork ron commissioned (a parade of rock and roll stars gathering under the reno arch, as the kptl crew, with ron behind the wheel of a 1963 corvette, passed).

all of these things were commissioned, not because we needed artwork for the radio station, but because ron was trying to help out the crazy artist.

today my friend, kathryn (i’ll have to tell the story of how she and i missed our connecting flight out of atlanta when we were coming home from myrtle beach bike week), suggested that i use that image as my picture on the blog.

since kathryn is so good for my ego, i decided that she knows best.

when things were not going so well for me, kathryn was the one person who helped me to believe in myself. well, fannin always tells me to remember that i am monty wolf and nobody else is. but, he’s not as attractive as kathryn. and a pretty woman is much easier to believe than some dude, even if he is one of my radio heroes.

thank you kathryn!

thank you fannin!

and thank you janet, the crazy artist!

the quest for a good cup

to paraphrase dr. pretorious from the movie "the bride of frankenstein": "coffee: it is my only weakness!"

i have been a coffee snob for years.

long before starbucks had a shop on every-other corner and coffee became fashionable.

i have nothing against starbuck’s. their growth has made it easier to acquire high quality coffees from a variety of sources due to their ever-present presence. i kind of look at starbucks as being the in-n-out of coffee houses; far better than mc donalds but not as good as tavern on the green. when i walk into a starbucks, i expect a decent, consistent latte or cappuccino (i’ve been doing mostly cappuccinos lately when i go for a “fuller” cup of coffee).

but, when ron and i go for coffee, 4-bucks a morning begins to add up.

so, i’ve been settling for french roast; the only “bold” coffee that "coffee girl" offers. they also offer a light blend, french decaf and some kind of flavored crap for people who don’t like real coffee.

in my opinion, the french know nothing about roasting coffee.

now the italians, on the other hand, are right on the money.

the italian techniques don’t take the bean to the borderline burned stage.

italian roasts are nice and sweet and creamy, while still being “bold”.

french roast is just. . . well. . . it is burned and bitter flavored.

the last two mornings they have been out of french roast.

leaving me with a choice of light, flavored and decaf.

i alway said if i ever start drinking coffee just to wake up in the morning i would quit.

i'm resorting to pulling my own coffee and will meet ron at the beach to take our meetings.

writing about music is like dancing about architecture

an amazingly wonderful thing happened today!

this could change my life!

i’m afraid to say anything about it at this point as not to jinx it.

so, let’s talk about music.

maybe it is the atmosphere.

maybe it is the vibe.

maybe it doesn’t matter.

ever since i hit route 1, coming out of marina heading south to the peninsula, i have listened to nothing but classical music while i’m driving.

kboq (pronounced: k-bach).

it’s a syndicated format from a satellite feed. i can tell because i’m a radio-guy, alright?

i have long loved classical music but had no classical-mentor to guide me.

i had to discover it myself through bands like emerson, lake & palmer and yes and the synthesist tomita.

over the years, my classical exposure has grown. but slowly.

that is certainly changing.

about a year ago, i made a new friend through the internet who is an amazing keyboard player. i discovered him through youtube when i found a video featuring him in an elp tribute band. this cat had keith’s licks down solid (sans knives in the keys). and let me tell you: keith’s licks are nothing like elton john’s. the medley’s that he arranged featuring elp, with a little uk thrown in for good measure, just knocked me out.

gary calame does music for the movies and tv.

he has sent me several bits that he has composed from tonal to atonal modern classical music to jazz.

the cat is hot!

i’ve spent a good part of the evening listening to a piece he is working on by franz liszt. i can’t wait to hear him play it! just the fact that he is working on the piece impresses the shit out of me. i don’t think i have ever heard a more complicated and intricate piece of piano playing.

liszt must have been mad and gary must be madder to play it!

of course he is.

he loves drag racing!

franz liszt 1811-1886

ain't no desert

went down to the beach this evening.

not to watch the sunset.

i think the last time the sun actually set here was two days ago.

i got back from the farmers’ market, barbecued sandwich in hand (soon to be “in mouth”), and i could hear the waves pounding against the shore.

the houses between here and the beach usually dulls the surf to just a distant resonance that could easily be mistaken for the wind in the trees.

not this evening!

this evening the sound was tremendous!

i quickly ate the meal, dumped the berries in the colander and made for the beach.

“surf city, here we come!”

the waves were far from being those massive winter storm waves that, i’m told, come up to the asphalt on the 17-mile drive. but, it was, what spalding would have called, “a perfect moment!”

there were no palm trees ripping in the wind.

my perfect moment was accentuated by cypress trees shaped by years (centuries?) of winds.

quite beautiful.

i stood up above the surf for a while before the chill of the july evening drove me back to the car.

but, i was entranced with the ever so slightly waning tide as it drove the waves over the rocks and up onto the beach.

it is not the solitude that i find in the stark beauty of the desert.

but, it’ll do just fine.

i wish spalding could have seen it.

spalding gray 1941-2004

drier and dryer

i never once saw the sun today!

the fog ruled!

i even ran up to seaside to get some more paint and i still never saw the sun.

i’m beginning to remember what it is like to live where you cannot expect a dry towel when you get out of the shower.

no! it’s not as bad as maine!

but, it sho’ ain’t “13% humidity today in the truckee meadows”!

found my cell phone.

ron had me up so early yesterday that i never pulled it off of the charger. still don’t know why i didn’t hear it ring when i walked through the house calling myself? hey: at least i still have the damn thing!

santa cruz bill came today to help (?) with the painting project. where is george costanza when you need him?

we did finish ron’s room tonight. now, we just have to do the office. but, it won’t be weeks until we can get in there. it’ll take that long just to pack up the artifacts, antiquities, oddities and obelisks.

before leaving for the dollhouse this morning to supervise the gas line installation, so we can use the dryer, i walked out of the front yard to meet a buck, doe and fawn (still speckled) just passing through.

black tail deer really are my favorite deer and it’s so nice to have them around.

i’m going to try to leash-train one so i can take it for walks to the beach.

my day off

spent my only day off painting.

at least there is light at the end of my tunnel of woe.

all we have to do is ron’s room and bathroom and my bathroom and we’re done!

we celebrated at the dollhouse with ultra-thick (1¼”) t-bone steaks and fresh pineapple.

i think i may have lost my cell phone. i cannot find it. i’ve tried calling it and listening for the ring in the car and all over the media center.

i’m not happy about this!

what i am happy about is: somebody uploaded a bunch of videos onto youtube of a 1980 talking heads concert recorded in rome. this was one of the tours featuring adrian belew. he looks so young and just as talented as he is today! he also seems to be getting as much camera time as david byrne.

hazards of peninsula life

after returning from the store this evening, as i drove through the country club gate, one of 5 gates allowing me access onto the area of the peninsula on which i live, i saw what appeared to be a pack of marauding dogs coming out of the fog. it was a scene from a bad horror movie come true.

it wasn’t until i got closer that i realized what i was looking at was a heard of black tail deer with several little fawns making their way through the del monte forest; probably to go graze on the grasses of one of the golf courses.

these deer are so cute! they’re much smaller than mule deer or white tail deer. the little fawns weren’t much bigger than medium sized dogs.

there are so many of them out here, and they have become so docile being around all of the homes, golfers and tourists that they are always getting hit my drivers. very sad!

all of the roads out here are narrow and circuitous. that coupled with the fog and you’ve really got to keep your eyes on the road or you’ll collect one in the grill. and that’s nothing like a quail.

just trying to drive these roads without getting lost is a challenge in itself.

when i first got here i was getting everywhere by using my gps map and following the breadcrumbs i’d left when i was running around in ron’s car. however, i’ve been leaving it at home so as not to get to reliant upon it.

3 or 4 nights ago ron and i were at the dollhouse getting susie’s computer dialed-in. since we came in separate cars, i left as soon as the ‘puter was up and running. even up on top of huckleberry hill, where the dollhouse is, the fog was incredibly thick. so, by the time i got off of the hill, it was like the proverbial pea soup.

“should i have turned right there?”

“ah. no big deal. i’ll find my way back to the beach eventually.”

“hmmm? i should have reached the beach by now?”

“ah. here’s the 17-mile drive. i’ll just take it around cypress point and home from there.”

i ended up at the complete opposite end of pebble at the carmel gate.

i gave up and followed the 17-mile drive back to the route 1 gate, which is about ¼ mile from the dollhouse and took hwy. 68 back to the country club gate and took the easy way, albeit much longer, way back.

missing the sun's goodbye

while standing in the front-backyard just now (we have two backyards) i could hear a seal barking in the not-too-distance.

the days just get more interesting here on the monterey peninsula.

i mentioned today that i would like to audition for the theater after car week is over and ron went into action! he’s ready to become my agent! i couldn’t ask for a greater proponent! this could be a rough place to try to get a principal role. i got lucky in freeport. this place is just loaded with artists and actors (clint eastwood just one of them. oh my: i just realized that i may be onstage in front of clint eastwood!). so, if i can make it here. . .

it looks like i’m now the harrison family laundry technician. i did 11 loads at the local communal washtub. somehow, i get the feeling i’m also going to be susie’s personal assistant.

my moving announcement has garnered the attention of robin; another peculiar occurrence as my life continues to make this bizarre change.

we’re still painting the media center. i feel as if i’ll be painting it for the rest of my life. the more we paint the more seems to need painting. it’s not that the house is so huge. but, the 20 foot vaulted ceilings made of rough-hewn wood is pretty tough to cover. where are those long-legged, large-breasted, doe-eyed devotees ron keeps promising me?

had dinner with ron and susie tonight at il fornaio in carmel. what a great place! it’s in an old hotel: the pine inn. the hotel was built in 1889 in the style of an elegant country inn with wood from the old tivoli opera house in san francisco. i couldn’t stop smiling all the time we were in the building. such a great vibe! ron and i were there to choose hors d’oeuvres and arrange the western automotive journalists concours d’elegance reception, of which ron is president. i thought the calamari was a little tough, but the batter was very light and tasty. the breads were very good: some kind of olive ciabatta and a very-crusty (as in crunchy) bread that tasted sourdoughish. i had the fettuccine alla bolognese made with in-house fresh pasta. oh, what a wonderful thing to have between your teeth!

as i returned to the taurus, i noticed a very familiar logo on the back of a shirt being worn by a man about 30 feet from the car. “excuse me!” i interrupted. “are you in scta?” “no!” the stranger replied! “but, i was just down there last week.” bob, and his friend erik (i think), are in town for the motorcycle races this weekend at laguna seca. well, to make a long story. . . bob wants to build an entry for bonneville (he seems enchanted with streamliners. who isn’t?) but, can’t decide on motorcycle or car. both bob and erik are going to show “the world’s fastest indian” in bob’s shop later this summer. this movie has become a religious experience for so many people who have watched it.

tony hopkins (as burt munro) and the scta logo

i keep missing the sunset by about 3 minutes. tonight, it was just a coincidence that i drove into the setting sun. but, for several nights in a row, one thing or another has kept me from reaching the beach before the orb disappears beyond the horizon. the color, however, was absolutely amazing as i drove the coastline between carmel-by-the-sea and pebble beach on the famous 17-mile drive. what a beautiful drive!

i wonder what the accumulative value is of the homes just between here and carmel? certainly in the billions! maybe in the trillions? the opulence is over-the-top!

these are my neighbors!